You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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