I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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