i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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