he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
