I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
