Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
