I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
