lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
