dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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