He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
