there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
