Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize