After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
