i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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