She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
