My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
