so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
