Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
