ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
