Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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