I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
