Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I touched a dick in church today
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
