you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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