You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
