Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
