so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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