is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Green mimosas i think yes
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
