i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
