Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
