If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
