Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
