I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
