just come out here and I will go home with you...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
