i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
