Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Two words: blizzard sex
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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