vagina is talking i cant
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize