They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
