yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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