DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
