More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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