FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize