me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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