The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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