Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize