i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
