dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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