I skipped work to stalk him.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
