i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
