covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
