it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
