its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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