Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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