Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
That accounts for only three of the penises
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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