dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
