I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
