he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
