he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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