honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
