At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize