Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just want to make out with him forever
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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