how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
so much tequila, so little girl.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
