wat bout pragnant strippers??
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
