I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
