I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
